I cheated!

Because I have felt down in the dumps I was getting in the "I could care less" about this health kick I have been on.  Last night when my husband walked in the door I told him we were ordering a pizza.  (He was pretty excited about this as he has been eating healthy simply because that is how I have been cooking).  He was ready for the treat just as much as I was.  I literally inhaled 3 pieces of pizza and a diet coke.  I accepted that one day of over indulgence wasn't going to set me back and that after the pizza, I would get back into my clean eating workout groove.  WELL, this morning I woke up and there was a box of leftover pizza.....I had my "Biggest Loser" pancakes sitting in tupperware on top of the pizza box but I just couldn't help myself! I freakin ate 3 pieces of pizza for breakfast! This was not part of the plan! I feel defeated and disgusting!! Self control was obviously a huge challenge for me today and I Failed with a capital F.  I can't beat myself up about it and I need to just take the frustration I have with myself today out on the elyptical machine!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

B

The Stress Factor

Following a workout regimen and meal plan like a stickler to achieve your goals is a challenge.  But do you know what is even more challenging?  When you step on the scale and not only did you not lose weight, but you gained!  It is like a great big slap in the face! I was just recently made aware that stress will totally make your body hold on to the pounds no matter what diet or workout plan you are on.  That totally makes sense to me because on a scale from 1 to 10, I feel my stress level is at 10! Right now is a very stressful time in my life.  There are just so many issues that need to be worked out with people in my life and the fact that no one wants to work through them leaves me with such crippling anxiety.  Yes, I know I am a control freak and I wish so badly I could not be like that!! For the past 3 days I have had a gnarly migraine and have felt like I was going to have a heart attack.  Some nights I sleep, some nights I am up all night.  I wish that other people could fix their own issues and that I didn't feel the need to fix them.  I wish that money grew on trees too.  That would help out a lot!  I recently just got a check in the mail for over $800 from a past employer.  I didn't know why I received the check but I was so thankful! I was like "Oh Jesus thank you so much for this blessing!"  I deposited the check.  It cleared.  I spent half of the money.  Yesterday I got a call from Wells Fargo saying there was a stop payment on the check and now my account is negative $396 bucks.  Wow.  Just my luck...a fake blessing.  I was depressed all day yesterday and just wanted to sleep all day long.  Clearly, I cannot do that because of my two little people, but I honestly would have loved to just do it!  Tuesday nights are typically my date night with the husband since the kids go to Church for an hour and a half.  The hubby dragged me to the gym and for 45 minutes I worked my butt off.  Literally had sweat pouring down my face and back.  I hoped it would take all the stress and the headache away.  Sadly, it didn't.  The screaming and whining that my children have consistently been doing since they woke up this morning isn't helping it.  I need a miracle!!!

B