I cheated!

Because I have felt down in the dumps I was getting in the "I could care less" about this health kick I have been on.  Last night when my husband walked in the door I told him we were ordering a pizza.  (He was pretty excited about this as he has been eating healthy simply because that is how I have been cooking).  He was ready for the treat just as much as I was.  I literally inhaled 3 pieces of pizza and a diet coke.  I accepted that one day of over indulgence wasn't going to set me back and that after the pizza, I would get back into my clean eating workout groove.  WELL, this morning I woke up and there was a box of leftover pizza.....I had my "Biggest Loser" pancakes sitting in tupperware on top of the pizza box but I just couldn't help myself! I freakin ate 3 pieces of pizza for breakfast! This was not part of the plan! I feel defeated and disgusting!! Self control was obviously a huge challenge for me today and I Failed with a capital F.  I can't beat myself up about it and I need to just take the frustration I have with myself today out on the elyptical machine!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

B

The Stress Factor

Following a workout regimen and meal plan like a stickler to achieve your goals is a challenge.  But do you know what is even more challenging?  When you step on the scale and not only did you not lose weight, but you gained!  It is like a great big slap in the face! I was just recently made aware that stress will totally make your body hold on to the pounds no matter what diet or workout plan you are on.  That totally makes sense to me because on a scale from 1 to 10, I feel my stress level is at 10! Right now is a very stressful time in my life.  There are just so many issues that need to be worked out with people in my life and the fact that no one wants to work through them leaves me with such crippling anxiety.  Yes, I know I am a control freak and I wish so badly I could not be like that!! For the past 3 days I have had a gnarly migraine and have felt like I was going to have a heart attack.  Some nights I sleep, some nights I am up all night.  I wish that other people could fix their own issues and that I didn't feel the need to fix them.  I wish that money grew on trees too.  That would help out a lot!  I recently just got a check in the mail for over $800 from a past employer.  I didn't know why I received the check but I was so thankful! I was like "Oh Jesus thank you so much for this blessing!"  I deposited the check.  It cleared.  I spent half of the money.  Yesterday I got a call from Wells Fargo saying there was a stop payment on the check and now my account is negative $396 bucks.  Wow.  Just my luck...a fake blessing.  I was depressed all day yesterday and just wanted to sleep all day long.  Clearly, I cannot do that because of my two little people, but I honestly would have loved to just do it!  Tuesday nights are typically my date night with the husband since the kids go to Church for an hour and a half.  The hubby dragged me to the gym and for 45 minutes I worked my butt off.  Literally had sweat pouring down my face and back.  I hoped it would take all the stress and the headache away.  Sadly, it didn't.  The screaming and whining that my children have consistently been doing since they woke up this morning isn't helping it.  I need a miracle!!!

B

Feelin' Great

I can honestly say that I have had more energy than I have had in a long time.  I am usually so sluggish and lately I have just been a little fire ball! Yesterday was my last day of the 3 day juice cleanse but I decided to have a real meal for dinner.  I decided to pack the family up and go for a run/walk combo.  I tried to run a lot of the way but this Mama is OUT OF SHAPE!  I did 2.5 miles and it felt good to get out there and get active!  For dinner I made a cup of brown rice, 1 cup of lean turkey meat seasoned with Mrs. Dash Chipotle seasoning, and a spinach and kale salad with carrots, cucumber, celery and home made balsamic vinegarette dressing.  I thought I would for sure gain weight because I ate a meal but when I weighed in this morning I was down a little bit more.  I forget the exact number but I think I am only down 3 pounds or so.  Today was more of a challenge.  I had to be at my son's speech evaluation at 9am and then had to work from 12:30-5:30.  I should note that while I did the 3 day strictly fruit and veggies I stayed home THE ENTIRE 3 days.  Going out allowed for too much temptation in the beginning stages.  Plus, juicing is time consuming and when it is time to juice you need to be by your juicer!  So today I was struggling to get my juice made before we had to run out the door but I did it.  I juiced 4 carrots, a pink navel orange, a regular orange, and a lime.  After I juiced it I poured it into the blender and added some ice and a banana.  I made extra for the twins too as they are now pretty into the whole juicing process.  For lunch I had 1 cup brown rice and 1 cup lean turkey meat with sriacha hot sauce.  At work, I brought a bag of carrots, and a green apple and a red apple to snack on.  I would have NEVER taken carrot sticks for a snack...I HATED carrots prior to this juicing extravaganza!

I am pretty nervous about tomorrow.  I am meeting with my sis in law, mother in law, and my future sis in law for a day of fun in the city.  This scares me.  We are supposed to start our day off at our favorite coffee shop, Philz, and I am so unsure as to whether or not I should order a small coffee and move on with my life or if I should just avoid it since I have detoxed from caffeine, sugar, and dairy?! Then we are going to go shopping and our plan is to each lunch at the food court in the mall....ummmmm what the heck am I going to eat?  Hopefully there is a salad bar around! Then we are going to Circa Soleil at the Ballpark followed by dinner at an Italian Restaurant...AGAIN, I need to stay strong and order a plain chicken breast with steamed veggies! No pizza, no pasta, no calamari, no vino, no BREAD! OMG NO BREAD! I am stressed already! =)

Wow...

ONLY consuming juice is CRAZY hard...Day one was a day filled with mixed emotions.  I would be so extremely tired, then all of a sudden get a burst of energy.  I would get a headache and then it would go away.  I wanted to cry over nothing and then would laugh hysterically.  Juicing definitely made me act more bi-polar than I typically do!  Having the the Mean Green Juice was no bueno.  It was the WORST part of my day yesterday! It just tasted beyond nasty to me.  I decided that I would eat my greens instead of juicing them.  I don't want to have a terrible time juicing for the first time.  If it is a bad experience, I will just be turned off and I don't want to associate it with being negative from the get go.  I have decided to juice things that I am comfortable with and make a plan that works for ME.  I really really enjoy eating green veggies so I figure that I will just make it a point to make those the basis of my meals.  So far I have stuck to only fruits and veggies for 2 days (Although, I did just have a 1/4 of a piece of salami that my kid left on his plate).  I have found my biggest struggle with this whole thing is that I have to prepare my family 3 meals a day not including snacks and I am just so tempted.  I have been asked by multiple people what my long term plan is after the 3 days of just juice.  That answer is so simple.  I am just focusing on eating clean foods.  Eating clean does not have to be boring.  I am not saying I will never have a chip or a piece of cake, but majority of my families meals will be CLEAN!  My poor husband gets about 4 hours of sleep a night.  He eats junk and is always tired.  He is just worn out and needs to get healthy.  I always tell him that just because he is skinny doesn't mean he is healthy on the inside and it is so true.  He says he feels really bad and he needs to make a change.  It is up to me, as the matriarch of the family, to get us all on the right path.  I made some juices for Aaron and the boys and they all liked them...seems like I am the only one not 100% in love with them.  

Waking up on day two, I was really hoping to see that I lost 25 pounds on the scale....but unfortunately I was only down 1.5 pounds.  It sucks that it is so easy to gain weight but so hard to lose it.  Today I found that I had a LOT more energy than I typically do.  I was actually motivated to get up off the couch and get stuff done around the house.  I look forward to day three.

My rainbow drinks!

Spinach, celery. bell pepper, cucumber, and lemon

This has been my favorite so far.  I juiced all of this and then poured it into my blender.  I added some ice and a banana and it was delish! Great breakfast! 

This monster looks as good as it tastes...

Well....here it goes!

I cannot believe I am being so vulnerable and putting this out there.  This morning, before juicing, I weighed 193.5.  I took before pictures too, and I just cannot bring myself to put them on here even though it is a private blog.  I think I let my guard down enough with putting my all time highest weight on here.....

I am sick and tired of feeling sluggish and unhappy.  I just feel so uncomfortable in my own skin and I am desperate to make a change.  I have these beautiful 4 year old twins that are full of energy who desire my time and participation in their lives.  But my mental clarity and my current physical situation prevent me from being present.  I have nothing but excuses.  I am irritable, tired, and frustrated.  I just read an article last night about how yelling at your kids effects them and it brought me to tears.  I am THAT Mom.  I am constantly yelling and my kids fear me.  Maybe if I was more happy with myself, I would make them more happy with me.  I need to make a change NOW so that more time doesn't pass by that I can't get back.  I feel like I have already failed them during their first 4 years.  It is up to me to make the change.

After watching Joe Cross's Documentary, Fat, Sick, and Nearly Dead (Multiple times) I have always wanted to try juicing.  Finally, this Christmas, my Mom got me my first juicer.  Yesterday I printed off Joe Cross's plan to do a 3 day reboot.  I went to the grocery store and spent $78 bucks on organic fruits and veggies to follow his 3 day plan.  I of course want this reboot to go longer than 3 days, but I am realistic and do not want to set myself up for failure.  I like meeting small goals.  That motivates me to proceed.  I heard the first 3 days are the hardest because your body is detoxing from caffeine, sugar, and every other toxin in your body!  I am so scared for the migraines that they say are coming.

I found the process to be relatively easy on how to work the juicer.  I washed all of the fruits and veggies and got busy!  For breakfast I made the Carrot-Apple-Lemon Juice.  I was super intimidated to try it at first.  It was orange...that was what scared me.  Just the fact that it was foreign got me second guessing myself! It made about 16 ounces of juice and I drank it in 3 big gulps.  It honestly wasn't bad...it was just different.  I am not big on carrots so I think that is what frightened me! I did gag but it was totally mental...had nothing to do with how it did actually taste.

As Joe Cross would say, "Juice On!"  I will be back later to update how lunch and dinner go!